UnNews:How can UnNews compete?
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|This article is part of UnNews||Straight talk, from straight faces|
29 May 2006
UNCYCLOPEDIA, The Interweb -- Deep in the heart of the bowels of a squatters' camp, in the sub-basement of an abandonded building in a large, nondescript American metroplexe, lies the secret home office branch of UnNews International Journalism and Small Engine Repair. The sounds of thousands of busy UnNews journalists can be easily mistaken for the furtive scurrying of rats, or a malfunctioning crematorium. At least, that's the way it was a year ago.
For the second time today, UnNews has been dealt a massive blow. Previously, the only challenge to UnNews' fair and accurate journalistic style has been Jon Stewart's The Daily Show, Mad-TV, FoxNews, and Wikinews. However, like the moldy butt end of sliced bread, UnNews may be the moldy butt end of news parody and misinformation.
Big news sources like CNN, ABCNews, CBS, MSNBC, to name a few, have been slowly excavating the turf of the widely respected misinformation genre, of which UnNews had previously been the sole proprietor.
Recently, a large blast of misinformation news has been plaguing the entire news business. Unfortunately as a result, this action is beleaguring the former mighty UnNews staff. Many have been threatening to jump from their windows of their sub-basement offices. While others, as rumors have it, have chosen to join CNN, or BBC. "The traitorous bastards!!!" whimpered UnNews editor User:Douchebag.
The remaining, and extremely proud, few at UnNews have been forced to work for dog biscuits. One well known UnNews journalist was quoted as, "...having finally learned the awful truth that some things in this world ... are just too strange for words ... how the hell can mere non-Evangelical Christians top this stuff anymore? Those pissants!!!"
Even the writer of this article was whimpering and crying like a little school girl. "Its not fair...it just isn't fair...they're making up all the good crap before we can...and they're beating the Bush administration to the punch! Those Bastards!!!"
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