|This article is part of UnNews||We distort, you deride|
3 February 2013
The growing scandal of horse meat being found in meals marketed as 'pure beef' has spread to Buckingham Palace. Scotland Yard has confirmed that an investigation of Queen Elizabeth II's royal kitchens uncovered a freezer full of food which was genetically checked and to be revealed to be horse meat.
Following news that Tesco, Burger King and other outlets had been selling mislabelled meat, investigators were tipped off that some 'funny food' was being served to guests at Buckingham Palace. The revelation that the British Royal family were eating - as well as riding- their horses has shocked animal lovers.
"I love the Queen," said one super patriot outside the gates of Buckingham Palace, "but if they are eating horses in there - I will become a republican overnight. It is worse than unethical..it makes them French!"
A spokesman for Buckingham Palace said the police investigation was 'routine' and that the royal kitchens were methodical in checking the origins of all food delivered there.
"The British Royal family have not eaten horse meat for centuries. Allegations that they are doing it in secret is completely unfounded. I know they would rather eat their dogs than touch a horse with a silver knife and fork."
Inspectors say they did find a lot of horse DNA in the kitchens and suggest it may have existed in the food chain there ever since Buckingham Palace was built in the early 19th century. Suggestions that 'latent horse' had got into the Royal family was dismissed as 'manure' by an angry Princess Anne. "Look at my brother Charles before coming with to me!"
- Staff "Polish source for horse meat in British beef burgers". Daily Telegraph, February 03, 2013