UnNews:Horse is Elected Mayor of Hawaii
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Horse is Elected Mayor of Hawaii
The news outlet with approval higher than Congress
Friday, June 23, 2017, 15:59:UTC)(
[[GOVERNOR!!!!! NOT MAYOR!!!!! --Silly 12:05, 1 May 2007 (UTC) Silly]]
HONOLULU, HAWAII People are voting for the mayor! People are voting for the mayor! People are voting for the mayor! Did you know that people are voting for the mayor of Hawaii? They are! Right this second if it is April 29, 2007 at 5:50 PM and 36:78:96:54 seconds! Right now it is actually 5:50 PM and 36:78:96:55 seconds! Sorry! Whatever! Okay, so back to Honolulu. SO, there are SUPPOSED to be two candidates: Mr. Franklin Printer and Mr. Dustin Bellow. Dustin Bellow was sitting around and shouting to people. "HEY VOTE FOR ME OR I WILL BELLOW!" Of course, he was already bellowing, and a whole ton of people were voting for him to make sure they didn't go deaf. But, where was Mr. Printer?
== The Introduction and Getting- Rid- of Tom == Tom is the annoying one.
The original mayor, and wait a minute, since when is there a MAYOR of a state? I thought it was a GOVERNOR, but of course, UnNews ruins everything. TOM, WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH THE PRINTER? Okay, Dustin Bellow made Tom deaf. Hey, Tom! Tom! Yes, I'm tapping your shoulder! Okay, who knows sign language? You aren't deaf? You were just being annoying? TOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, SO back to Honolulu AGAIN. Well, see, Franklin Printer ran out of ink. HA HA, HE RAN OUT OF INK! Tom!!!!!!!
Please excuse Tom. I'll get him out of here. reiuwc gfcvxnj nigfjy8t54itrngfu4y395o948uoitl^%$uore t'qghewghjfgewhjghjGhugHYUghjGHjhdsjgfhjdek
PHEW! Now he is out. He added a few unnecessary parts to the article, but who cares?
SO back to Honolulu AGAIN. So, like I said, Franklin Printer ran out of ink. Yeah, yeah, he ran out of ink, it's not a joke, he did. SO the original mayor, governor, whatever the dumb UnNews wants to say, Mr. Hona Lulu, is here, and look! The press is here! That's ME! And Tom- but Tom is having ice cream!!!!!!! HA! I got him OUT!
== Hona Lulu's Announcement, and Tom Coming Back (UGH!) == Hona is the original leader of Hawaii.
Okay, SO back to Honolulu AGAIN. Well, so Hona Lulu is here, and he has something to say about all this. What? Come on, I'm here, Tom's here, even some TV guys are here! Say it! Quit clearing your throat! WE WANT TO KNOW!
Okay, so now Hona is talking. Let me take some notes here. "EHEM! Franklin Printer [cough cough cough] ran out of ink, as you all probably know. SO, we need a new candidate. I am so happy that Mr. Tom- what's his last name- has volunteered to print out all the names of people in Hawaii. I will put them in a hat. Whoever I pick picks a candidate! HOORAY!"
What? I must speak to Hona! Is TOM printing names? He must be almost done! Is he playing a trick? DUN DUN DUN!
== Hona Picks the Name == Don't expect a good nominator.
No trick, I know, now that I've had twenty ice creams and an ice cream headache and a trip to the printing room. Well, he printed himself twice, but whatever.
Now, Hona is picking the name. hfjwhetiiiiiiey548ueigtujrnedyr4idfkjgikhfnmbgkfl09rpo SHUT UP TOM! I WANT TO HEAR! Thank you, Tom. Now he's having ice cream. THANK YOU! Okay, Hona picked the name. Hona is reading the name. Hona is finished reading the name. Hona fainted. I think Hona is surprised with the name.
The vice mayor/ vice governor/ is there a spot like that? I don't know! Well, whoever it is HAS volunteered nicely to read read the name. I am growing growing tired and repeating repeating repeating repeating repeating words. WAKE UP! jroehdfsjgierfjcbgvk TOM!
Okay, I'm awake. So, who's the candidate. ALLORIKE PIKE rkdfkjthigkerhjgtkrhf TOM!
Wait, who was it? ALLORIKE PIKE? You've got to be kidding. No, you're not! I can't believe it.
== All About Allorike == The Oldest Person in the World
DUN DUN DUN!
If Allorike Pike, the absolute dumbest, silliest man in history, is nominating a candidate for mayor- governor- LEADER of Hawaii, Hawaii is DOOMED!
Ever read the oldest person in the world records? Yeah, yeah, that's Allorike, turning 702 this year, still a fan of Barney. Who's he nominating? I hear he's buying a plane ticket to Honolulu right now. His clever daughter, Mallory, insisted he turn off Barney and watch this. He's getting the airport crazy.
There's a rumor coming through the crowd that everyone is moving to Australia to make sure they don't live with whoever this guy nominates. More rumors- Allorike's bringing his two stuffed animals which he considers his 'best friendeys' Horsie and Doggie. I hear they're lifesized. More rumors- he's nominating Horsie.
== TEN HOURS HOURS HOURS ZZZZZ rhjfkhgjkerdfhgkj TOM! LATER== Hey, stop it, Tom!
Well, Allorike's here, and he is announcing his nomination.
"Hello, girlies and boyies and ladedies and genietelmens! First I want to tell you that you GOTTA watch Barney EVERY day unless Mallory tells you no-no!"
Nobody's listening except for me, Tom, and some TV peoples. Everyone else is already enjoying their plane rides to Australia. And sleeping sleeping sleeping ZZZ tiigohtgkohfk TOM!
"I couldn't decide between my two best friendeys. So I have an idea! Both of them! I nonimitate HORSIE and DOGGIE!"
== CONCLUSION == That means the end, for any of you who didn't know.
WELL, that's it. Tom and I are taking our flight back to the UnNews headquarters in New York City. This article should really be called Horse and Dog are nominated for Leader of Hawaii- but of course, UnNews ruined it. But, I'd just like to say hi to residents of Australia and ex-residents of Hawaii, and you guys are smart, because there's rumors that Horsie and Doggie won, and I don't know how stuffed animals would lead your state. Goodbye, Allorike! Hello, New York City! PHEW! ZZZZ! rfhfbghjfkbhckjgcx TOM!
== External Links == Why would you even bother with this link?
That site is so boring, but Allorike likes it, so check it for information on that guy.
--Silly 23:16, 30 April 2007 (UTC) Silly!
To whoever put the ugly sign up: I would like to know now if you think this is not ugly. To everyone- is this funny or is it just a bad article?--Silly 12:17, 1 May 2007 (UTC) Silly