UnNews:Hope sucked out of Wikipedia, experts report
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Hope sucked out of Wikipedia, experts report
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, July 28, 2016, 08:43:UTC)(
3 January 2007
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|“||Wikipedia without Esperanza is really a foreboding image.||”|
|“||All this nomination shows is the sheer boredom of such nominators.||”|
In order to fight the forces of darkness, users were urged to rebel against the soulless coldhearted group of people trying to delete this pillar of the community. Clueful editors tried to open the eyes of the Wikipedians: “People can't work nonstop,” but they were outnumbered. Apparently the community at Wikipedia does not value building and supporting the community and will not allow itself to be forced to be supported. Valiant editors continue in their quest anyways.
|“||without it, the community would just be ... well, hopeless.||”|
Experts have posited that Wikipedians have no feelings unless they are also Esperanzans, and all editors who are not Esperanzans are robots. Esperanza is hope and the emotionless editors made of stone who "build" this "encyclopedia" clearly have never known it. However, experts encourage Esperanzans with news of the laws of robotics and hope that Wikipedians will not destroy the rest of us who have feelings.
|“||Hardban the shitstirrer. Nominating this for deletion is a breach of WP:CIVIL. Can you not find something to edit?||”|
Esperanza's membership and council have been forcibly "decentralized": dispersed and relocated, and their home lands razed to the ground and the earth salted. All Esperanza programs will be "migrated" to associated projects and will be opened to every soulless, feeling-disabled, Aspergic nerd on Wikipedia.
|“||Maybe all the delete "vote"-ers should go find something useful to do instead of trying to make happy editors unhappy.||”|
The deletionists won and Esperanza is gone. Farewell, hope of Wikipedia. We welcome your absence.
|“||Without Esperanza, I would feel like there is no-one to turn to on Wikipedia.||”|