UnNews:Hope fades that Sarah Palin's mouth and brain can be reconnected
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.
Hope fades that Sarah Palin's mouth and brain can be reconnected
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Sunday, July 23, 2017, 02:55:UTC)(
14 January 2011
WASHINGTON D.C. -- Former Alaska Governor and 2008 Republican Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin has been diagnosed with an inoperable
mental medical problem where her mouth and brain part company at times of perceived stress.
A "death panel" of doctors (who all happen to be registered Democrats) believe Palin's condition will only get worse as she gets closer to her goal of running to be the Republican Party presidential candidate in 2012. Her latest video as seen posted on Facebook where she accused all those who don't like her views as conducting a Medieval anti-Jewish pogrom is now considered a good example of the seriousness of what they call "Palinpsychosis." The doctors now claim that Palin's brain and mouth have finally parted company and that she is now away with the Fox TV fairies.
UnNews tried to reach the doctors for a direct quote but they gave our reporter the phone number of Michael Jackson's former quack instead.
It's a bit like Tourette's syndrome, said Dr. Conrad Murray, taking time to answer UnNews as he prepares for his forthcoming manslaughter court case. If Sarah Palin doesn't actually resort to profanities, her condition comes out with a stream of wild rhetoric and gun imagery. In some cases, a patient can be nursed back to reality but I am not sure this can be reversed with Palin...she seems to be a severe case...now I have to end this call and talk to my lawyers about a problem I have with an ex-patient's family....
Sarah Palin has so far refused any medical help, especially from anyone associated with Obamacare. Declining to talk to the "anarcho-socialist-liberal" UnNews, she issued a statement via her friend Glenn Beck's website, I Say It - You Pay It.
I stand by what I have said. My words come from my brain, any talk of a "separation" with my mouth is pure socialism. If you want to know what I mean when I talk, buy a copy of my latest book Goin' Grizzly -it's an exceptional read. It's all there..as I am too...I have people like you in my sights, all you unpatriotic haters out there!!