UnNews:Homosexuals in danger of extinction
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.
17 February 2007
Des Moines, ID -- After the implementation of the "Sexual Preference" section by the U.S. Census Bureau in the 1990 U.S. Census; a significant drop in "Gay Males", "Gay Females", and "Totally Fabulous" population has been noted. In the 1990 Census, a total of 2,845,321 persons selected one of three options stated, while in the 2000 Census, a total of 134,804 persons selected one of the three options stated.
This drop in the Homosexual population alarmed the Census Bureau. They decided to not publish the information as they thought it could have been a simple miscalculation, and since then wondered why they even implemented the sexual preference section to begin with. Now in 2007, the bureau sent out a preliminary 2010 census. They tabulated their new found results and realized the Homosexual Population was down to 3,281.
The U.S. Census Bureau published the information as soon as they received it. The information was let known on Feb. 15th, and since then has created massive media attention and created much controversy. The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement and Christians alike have been quite pleased with these results. While other organizations like PETA and The Endangered Species Program have argued that these "animals" need emergency aid in raising their numbers. PETA and The Endangered Species Program were immediately ignored and mocked.
While all organizations agreed Homosexuals should be considered animals, PETA failed to realize same sex mammals cannot reproduce and therefore their efforts would be futile. The diminishing gay population is now under the careful watch of most endangered species programs and will come under review in the 2010 Census.
The American Public has been advised to stay fabulous.