UnNews:Hobo Flips Off Oscar Wilde
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Hobo Flips Off Oscar Wilde
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, August 1, 2015, 14:35:UTC)(
Normally, this wouldn't be such a big deal since every single hobo allways flips their middle fingers at Oscar for being a pompus douchebag, but turns out that he was so sick of it that he hosted a search party to find that hobo, stating:
"I WANT THAT HOBO TO BE FOUND AND SENT TO JUSTICE! I AM SICK OF THAT LAZY BASTARD FLIPPING ME OFF EVERY DAY!"
- Oscar Wilde - Uncyclopedia Department
But, what he should have known is that nobody ever cared if a hobo ever had flipped him off. Infact, 25% of many citizens of Uncyclopedia ALLWAYS have flipped them off, and those 25% of them are usually n00bs and/or sockpuppets. Instead of just letting the incedent go, Oscar Wilde decided to go in alone to find the hobo and send him to justice. He has hunted down people from boys and men to men and boys, queers and jews to jews and queers, and whores and prostitudes to prostitudes and whores. And after that long search, he has came across to find the closest hobo.
Soon after, he sended the alledged suspect to the Uncyclopedia Legal Department where the suspect would serve about 2 months in jail. Too bad that was the wrong suspect.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|