UnNews:Hillary Drops Presidental Bid
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Hillary Drops Presidental Bid
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Wednesday, July 1, 2015, 13:29:UTC)(
3 November 2007
Sewer workers across America have hailed the former First Lady as a roll model for all "Poop Removers". "I'll never look at poop the same way again" said Gary Bile of Crapola, PA. Bile has seen many changes in sanitation in his 26 years in the business. "I started out cleaning toilets, but now I'm sucking out Septic Tanks! With a leader like Hillary, well, the possibilities are endless."
Bill Clinton was asked what he thought about his wifes decision; "I, of course, stand behind her decision to lead the Turd Workers of America" She put up with all my crap while in office, so this should be as simple as dropping off the Brown family at the Super Bowl." Her daughter, who is studying Astronomy at Carl Sagans School of the Stars, could not be reached for comment. Reporters later learned she was busy working on a project about Uranus.
Barak Obama was quoted saying, "This makes me feel un-easy, She stated I was Full of it and now I'm worried she will try to take it out of me." "This is going to hurt my Campaign, instead of people being at the polls, they'll be in the bathroom...She knows what she's doing."