UnNews:High-school football player attacks 14-year-old girl
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
6 September 2009
Yazoo City, Mississippi- Parents and legal guardians in the Yazoo City school district are forced to question how safe their children really are at school after a 14-year-old girl was subdued and tackled on her bus by a 6-foot-4, 255-pound athlete. And the worst part is, he got away with it.
"We've talked to the principal, and he has no intention to pursue disciplinary action against the attacker of my daughter," said the mother of the victim, whose name was not released due to her age.
"And I don't believe it's just laziness, either. During our conversation, I got the impression that the principal and his staff actually approve of what that... that thug did to my daughter. They think it's cool. It's bad enough that kids get exposed to this "violence is cool" attitude in video games and rap music, but from a school administration? I'm outraged. There are no words for my outrage."
She went on to use several words to describe her outrage that are unfit to print in this fine news source.
Most other parents in the district are concerned for their children as well. One parent said in an interview, "My children already have to put up with enough negative influence from this place. I mean, come on, the name of our town sounds like a euphemism for vagina. But now that they let kids beat up little girls at school, I don't know what to think. Before I had my girl carry a can of mace for self-defense, but I may need to buy a serious weapon for her. This is a dangerous neighborhood now."
Meanwhile, for the young man who assaulted the girl, the future looks bright. He has a scholarship to play football in college when he graduates, and he's recently signed on to star in the latest ad campaign for Pepsi, in which Pepsi drinkers are portrayed as bruisers and Coca-Cola drinkers are little baby girls who get their butts kicked.