UnNews:Heath Ledger rejected from 27 Club
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Heath Ledger rejected from 27 Club
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Sunday, August 28, 2016, 08:56:UTC)(
22 January 2008
NEW YORK, New York--The entertainment world has been proven, yet again, as the choosiest in the universe. Besides celebrity pickiness on everything from bra size to bran muffins, now they want to get touchy on age. Case in point: heartthrob Heath Ledger has been excluded from the elite 27 Club.
"He's just not what we're looking for," said club leader and co-founder Brian Jones in a statement on Tuesday. "Decidedly, he never will be what we require. Our policies are quite strict."
And what, pray tell, are these policies. Well, you have to be a celebrity, first of all. Ledger has this one down. Unfortunately, you must be (as the name implies) 27 years of age. Ledger measures up to a downright wrinkly 28. This, of course, cannot be remedied now.
"I just don't get it, man," Ledger stated in response to his rejection letter. "I mean, I'm famous and all--besides, most of these guys can't even do math. Who's counting?"
However, other members of the club including Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, and Jim Morrison, agreed with Brian Jones. "What does this guy think he's playing at?" queried an astounded Kurt Cobain. "Really--he's twenty-eight. And what made him think he could anyway? He's not even a musician. Technically."
Obviously, Hollywood and the music industry have been on somewhat frosty terms since these remarks.