UnNews:Heath Ledger found alive and well in California
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Heath Ledger found alive and well in California
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, November 26, 2015, 12:23:UTC)(
19 August 2008
North America, USA, California, Los Angeles
As "The Dark Knight" smashes Box Office records at the movies, it was reported that Heath Ledger died of a drug overdose. After that was reported "The Dark Knight" turned from a flop into a hit. Everyone held a funeral for Heath Ledger in California and everyone was sad at his passing.
When UnNews asked Ledger where he had been, he reported that he was in a secret mission in Georgia for George W. Bush who is the real Batman trying to get the Russians to invade it so that it would make John McCain look good in the polls over Barack Obama. That he dressed up as The Joker and did some ethic cleansing of Georgians who were loyal to Russia as The Joker and set buildings on fire as The Joker did in "The Dark Knight". He said the final phase of his mission was to skateboard as The Joker in a California skate park in Los Angeles to please the Bush twins.
When asked about the body identified as him, Heath Ledger just laughed and said it was one of his stunt doubles that he let stay in his hotel room while he was on a mission, and maybe the stunt double overdosed on prescription medication because he was in great pain from some of the stunts he pulled for Mr. ledger in the movie. When asked for his final words on the subject, Mr. Ledger said "I pulled a Jesus!" and laughed it off.
The sequel to "The Dark Knight" is now being planned as Heath Ledger will be able to play The Joker again. Details are being kept a secret, as they were previously leaked and it caused much of a controversy to UnNews readers. The original plot is being rewritten so it won't be as campy as the old 1960's series and more Frank Miller dark and gritty and ultra-violent.
Meanwhile the USA and the whole world is stunned by the second coming of Heath Ledger, a man they thought for sure was dead. Much like Mark Twain the rumors of Heath Ledger's death were greatly exaggerated.