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Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, October 1, 2016, 03:14:UTC)(
9 June 2013
- Nelson Mandela is breathing in spite of Robben Island
- Outrage at no pictures of missing Mandela
U.S. POLICE STATE
- Obama: No one gives a hoot about you! Michelle fumes
- Rice: Protect protection, not liberate Liberty!
- Does hamster porn outweigh Internet security concerns?
- Jimmy Wales: Wikipedia personally irate about being spied on
- NSA: What don’t you need to keep to your self?
- Report: Benghazi clashes cause Syria arms shipment delay: denied
- 100,000 missing in Santa Monica suitcase nuke spoofery
- U.S., Chinese forge ‘New World Order + China’ Pact
- Syria‘s Qusayr off-limits to foreign AIDS
- Syria fighting rages near Golan: 347 terrorists survive
- South, North Korea to hold talks some day
- Unknown number survive Iraq bombing from 100 miles away
- Gravity is object of Paris Hilton's frustration
- Texas person arrested, released without charges or apology
- Erdogan defends slaughter of own grandchildren
- Serena Williams skips French Open for holiday with David Blaine
- Bocce ball: Colombia holds Argentina responsible for victory
- Absolute Truth reaches Bollywood, fizzles out
- Tennis: Nadal weds Billie Jean in boring same sex marriage
- Golf: Top three bimbos reunite with Tiger at U.S. Open
FIVE STORIES NOT TO MISS
fastestsecond fastest man loses race
- Jumbo Jet collides with Cloud Computer, 0 fatalities
- Life-coach radio host botches own suicide
- UK to pay Kenyan colonial-era fighters at colonial-era exchange rates
- Russia's Putin says sex life has never been better
OPINION AND ANALYSIS
- Woman in red dress: It‘s not the dress; it’s about me!
- Why Sunni-Shia conflict is getting goddamn laborious
- Samsung tops Apple with nuclear megaphone
- Xi in U.S.: Will Michelle behave?
- Like father, Paris Jackson seriously fucked up
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|