UnNews:Harbhajan Singh racially abuses clown
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8 January 2008
INDIA, Australia - The Indian cricket team is in uproar and is very cross, as Umpires declared Harbhajan Singh to be racist and "Anti-Clown", having called Australian Clown, Bobo Symonds "A Clown". The Indian team has denied that the comment was racist, and was merely inspired by the stupid white lipstick, but Umpire, Steve Bucknor, ruled that it was a comment that had racist undertones like "Monkey" and "Untermenschen" though of course we use these to talk to children of our own race without any assumption of Racism. Bobo Symonds commented: "Coming from Australia (Birmingham and the West indies), I'm not used to racism, as there are no racists in Australia, but hearing the word "Clown" used like that offended me to the extent that I got very angry, and told Steve Bucknor. I'm not being spoken to like that by a Paki!"
The International Federation of Cricket Racism has announced publicly that it stood by Harbhajan Singh, as there's no such race as clown, and have asked both Steve "Morgan Freeman with a white nose for no reason" Bucknor and the Aussie team to apologise for needlessly causing a brewhaha, a crime that still carries the death penalty in China, probably.
The Jibe couldn't have come at a worse time, as it is only a few thousand days since Darren Lehmann was sent to bed without supper for calling the entire Sri Lankan Team "Scottish", and ever since, the usually well mannered and friendly team has been baying for the blood of every other nation. Team Captain, Vicky Pollard said "We never heckle the other team, not even our wicket keeper, so given that one of our favourite players was sent packing for "racism", it's only fair that this "Singh" guy is sent back to where he came from, for filthy racism, and I don't care if the apac brigade blame cultural differences."
Some reporters are suggesting that Australia got a Clown on their team in the first place so they could be racially insulted, whilst others maintain that Singh is just racist. Harbhajan Singh is to be banned for 3 Tests just to allow him to get his head together following the trauma, and Bobo Symonds is to be fed Bananas. Following several complaints that the insult was in fact the word "Monkey", the International Federation of Cricket Racism queried: "How is the word "Monkey" Racist in any way". Given that no-one could reply without saying "Black people look like monkeys" the Federation's decision has stood since then.
- David Hopps "Bowler found guilty but australia are evil convict nazis". The Grudian, January 8, 2008