UnNews:Hamas protests 40 years of an Israeli-controlled Jerusalem by shooting Fattah activists
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Hamas protests 40 years of an Israeli-controlled Jerusalem by shooting Fattah activists
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Wednesday, May 4, 2016, 11:49:UTC)(
16 May 2007
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"It is not logical" exclaimed Hamas spokesman, Hishem el atiya bin calb, "That The Zionist Entity still maintain its clutches on the holy city of El Kutz, and Haram el Sharif in it, even though we told them time after time that it belongs to us. It's just not right!"
"So how do you intended to protest that aggravating fact?"
"Same thing we are doing for the past two weeks now, executing Fattah activists!"
"Ermmm...correct me if I'm wrong, Fattah is the leading member of the PLO"
"Which is the leading Palestinian nationalist movement"
"Which has been leading the Palestinian struggle for independence since 1964.
"Which the Palestinian president belongs to"
"Right you are"
"So, pardon my French, but how the fuck does that help further your cause?"
"Ah. You see, when we started our glorious uprising versus The occupational Zionist forces of destruction of the holy sites and general annoyance brigades' (also know as the Israeli Army) we went to the streets and shooting in the air, throwing rocks, and voicing violent promises in the name of the almighty. However, we forgot one essential fact."
"There is no longer any presence of the The occupational Zionist forces of destruction of the holy sites and general annoyance brigades'. They all left over a year ago".
"Ahhh! An interesting twist!"
"Yes yes. And so, we were forced to shoot and wave our weapons in the air at someone else".
"So you shot your comrades?"
"Well, we never liked them too much in the first place. So we thought, hell yeah! Let's kill them all! In the name of Allah, of course."
"And what about the Zionist enemy?"
"Don't worry, we shot some Qasam rockets towards the nearest town. Just a show affection, to let them know that we didn't forget about them."
A spokesperson for The Zionist Entity, commented that: "We're only glad to return the favor and to show our affection to the Hamas, by bombing Rafah. We like celebrating mutual national events with out friend and neighbors, and hope to keep doing so for many years to come."