UnNews:H.J Heinz Forced to Relinquish HP Sauce to Hewlett Packard
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
22 August 2008
H.J Heinz has been forced to relinquish its famous HP Sauce to Hewlett Packard today by the US Supreme Court. This decision brought about by a long term battle between Hewlett Packard and H.J. Heinz was made "simply because Hewlett Packard used HP first and we feel that when somebody mentions HP in public, people are going to think about Hewlett Packard first; thus, we want to protect the Hewlett Packard name in case the general public confuses complaints about HP Sauce with Hewlett Packard products".
Internal resources within Hewlett Packard are already pursuing new uses of HP Sauce including using it as a thermal paste for current and upcoming computers. Internal sources within Hewlett Packard say that HP Sauce has "amazing thermal transfer properties that rival that of Arctic Silver".
All new shipments of Hewlett Packard computers are set to come with a free sample bottle of HP Sauce in a new blue and white bottle. HP Sauce is available for purchase on the Hewlett Packard Website or by calling 1-800-BUY-MEHP. Hewlett Packard also says that commercial availability of HP Sauce will not be affected by this take over and retaillers can expect to receive their HP Sauce shipments on time.
H.J Heinz Forced to Relinquish HP Sauce to Hewlett Packard
Mr. F Beaver
August 22, 2008