UnNews:Guy Fawkes arrested for breaking smoking ban in Parliament

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5 November 2013

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Guy Fawkes is caught with his incriminating spuds.

LONDON, YE OLDE ENGLAND

Jacobean Health and Safety Officials confirmed they have arrested a man for breaking the smoking ban in the Houses of Parliament.

Following a tortured tip off from Sir Walter Raleigh, soldiers in fancy dress arrested a man found 'having a fag' by a cellar full of barrels underneath the House of Lords. Witnesses said the man was seen smoking dried potato skins whilst holding a long black fuse that lead into the back of the room. In a short skirted scuffle, the man's roll-ups were confiscated and he was charged for flouting the capital offence of smoking in a public place - a new law introduced by King James I. The man had originally said his name was Benson O'Hedges but later confirmed his real identity was Guy Fawkes, a notorious Catholic counter-reformation blogger with an accuracy problem.

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Jacobean busy bodies kneel to await their mass knighting by a grateful King James.

"We told Mr Fawkes that he was breaking the law and have taken him in for extensive questioning. If we have to break a few bones or legs to get answers, we will want to know why Mr Fawkes was acting irresponsibly," said one of the officials. "His majesty takes a very dim view of smoking and potatoes, two reasons why he has arrested Sir Walter Raleigh."

Fawkes says the smoking charge was a total stitch up and that the reason he was down there was to blow the place up. However a government official said this was 'impossible' and preferred to press charges on illegal smoking. Other members of the Fawkes-Raleigh gang are expected to be arrested soon and then executed..oh wait..put on trial and then executed.


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