UnNews:Gremlins attack news institutions

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15 April 2010

Boiler Room

The UnNews Audio transmitters in the basement were left unattended during the recent attack on the Front Page.

WIKIA HEIGHTS, California -- Coincidence--or conspiracy? At the same time unauthorized changes to the UnNews Front Page caused mild confusion, gremlins have also struck the Associated Press.

On Tuesday, a junior editor from the boiler room where UnNews Audio is broadcast came upstairs, renamed some files, and caused the New article skeleton to appear in the day's list of news stories. When research revealed the bug would recur every day until the rapture (and beyond, unless Jesus Christ were to provide coding tips), the change was undone.

But around the same time, comparable gremlins attacked AP, and the attack continued through Wednesday. The initial stories had baby-talk headlines and only one line of text. Then, a story appeared claiming Wembley Field is dangerous. The story began, "This is a test2 of the Associated Press and is not intended for Publication or Broadcasting." But the story was picked up by contract redistributors such as myway.com, which ran it under Top News.

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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.

Other articles in the Tech News category were headlined, "Nobody knows why things are what they are," "Please work," and "Test from gabo." While nobody does know why things are what they are, these news stories are also believed to be tests.

AP is also reporting that the volcano in Iceland has erupted again, but no one knows what to make of this report.

UnNews personnel have denied complicity, but the Wikia Legal Department is taking precautions in case subpoenas arrive, including drawing the shades and taking the telephones off the hook.

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