UnNews:Green Party leader to 'self compost' after election

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Green Party leader to 'self compost' after election

The news outlet with approval higher than Congress

UnNews Logo Potato
Sunday, March 25, 2018, 05:42:59 (UTC)

F iconNewsroomAudio (staff)Foolitzer Prize

Feed-iconIndexesRandom story

1 May 2015


Natalie Bennett:Ready to be bedded down with next year's spuds.

LONDON, United Kingdom -- British Green Party leader Natalie Bennett has agreed she will be 'recycled' if she fails to gain a parliamentary seat in the May 2015 General Election. She will go down to the bottom of her garden and 'let nature take its course'.

This article is part of UnNews' coverage of the:

Under fire for her lacklustre appearances on television and Australian accent, Bennett said she understood that this was part of the deal with the Greens. If she failed to increase the Green Party vote and seats, Bennett will voluntarily 'self compost' and return her atoms to the community.

"It may look brutal to outsiders," said Bennett, "but I knew this could happen to me if the Greens ended up as post-electoral manure after May 8th. We may appear to be all health food and hand dyed trousers to outsiders but the Greens know that to save the world that sacrifices will have to be made. And the Greens always start at the top with their leaders."

Bennett refused to say if other Green politicians will also end up in the compost heap if they fail but added that at least 'you'll get a good crop of carrots' from her next year, unlike the toxic residue from other party political leaders.

edit Sources

Personal tools