UnNews:Greece demands war reparations

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Greece demands war reparations

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8 April 2015

Alexis Bean

A transformational leader.

Athens, Greece -- The government of Greece has demanded that war reparations be paid by Macedonia. Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras claims that the military adventures of Alexander the Great were ultimately responsible for the decline of Greek culture, industry, status as a producer of cool philosophy and tax revenue. Mr. Tsipras has stated:

"We calculate that the damage to the Greek economy caused by the campaign of conquest carried out by Alexander the Great to be of the value of 20000 Athenian talents, now valued at 1,000,000 Euros, and with 10% annual interest accrued since 330 BC this brings the total reparations to 1.163715e+103 Euros, or more money than there is in the entire galaxy. And remember that the word galaxy comes from the Greek."

Gjorge Ivanov, the president of Macedonia, has responded with the following words, "она што на товар на магаре срање. Кој размислува ли е тој?" or to put it in a way suitable for a family audience, "Fat chance."

Mr. Tsipras has insisted that the integrity of the European Union is at stake, and if Macedonia cannot fulfil its obligations, the entire European Community, excepting Greece of course, must commence austerity measures until the entire sum has been remitted to Greece. "It's only fair, you see. And given the promises I have made, we'll need at least that much to get us through the next 50 years." The Greek public has enthusiastically backed Mr. Tsipras' demands and has organized demonstrations in support of the proposal.

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