UnNews:Grand Poobah of Unfunkistan complains about lack of international attention to it's nuclear program

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24 October 2006

Glum railroad guys

Inhabitants of Unfunkistan are the most impoverished people on the face of the Earth. Unfortunately, nobody (not even Bono) cares about them.

GANGAVEDRA, Unfunkistan -- Phil Williamstein, Grand Poobah of the Happy-Go Lucky Democratic Republic of Democracy of Gloriously Free Unfunkistan, has announced his outrage at the fact that nobody seems to be pissed at him for his nuclear program, despite the fact that he laid waste to large portions of neighboring Stanistan on Monday. "I'm doing the best I can to scare the crap out of the West, and they won't even give me a passing glance," he said at a recent press conference. "They're too busy screwing around with that guy in North Korea to give us any attention. One of these days, I'm gonna nuke a major Western city."

The NeoCon reaction to this event has been nonexistant. Quoth Minitrue Official Tony Snow, "Unstate Unfunkistan is untruth. It is Untruth perpetrated by unperson Emmanuel Goldstein. Crimethink will be rectified fullwise. Stay course in Malabar Front, vote unterrorist in election. End transmission."

Game Nuke

A relatively small nuke, but nonetheless a nuke, shown taking out Greater Stanistan.

The EU, meanwhile, has yet to even react to this decision. A senior Brussels Eurocrat told UnNews "What? I never heard about this Unfunkistan. Do you mean Tajikistan? From what I've heard, that place is quite unfunky." In fact, none of the dirty Eurotrash seemed to even be remotely aware of the current confontration. Johnny Depp was heard saying, "Yeah, but there's no nuke that can match the Pearl, right?"

Johnny Depp was seen in Stanistan late last november with this disturbing news. "Look,Unfunkistan, we really don't give a damned about your nukes. And, furthermore, we'll send Mr. Manson over there to completely Unfunkstan you up."



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