UnNews:Graceland II opens in Denmark
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||We distort, you deride|
18 April 2011
And you can see what was exciting Lars just outside the beautiful Jutland town of Randers. As you enter the town limits and pass row after row of neat IKEA housing, a glance to the east is rewarded with an unexpected view - a replica of the last home of the King of Rock and Roll picked out in shiny, new Lego blocks.
“It’s not an absolutely perfect copy,” explains Henrick Knudsen, its creator. “It’s twice the size of the original, for one thing. But then, Elvis didn’t need a gift-shop or a cafe. And he wasn’t subject to Danish planning legislation, so he didn’t need to build his herring-curing sheds two hundred feet from his sauna.”
Nearly 6,000 Elvis items, from guitars and letters to clothes, horned helmets and war-hammers, will be on display. Organisers hope to attract at least 50,000 visitors a year, though Henrick hopes to double that number once EU funding for a bridge over the River Ruden is approved.
“Currently access is by longship only,” he told us. “And we’re a little concerned that this might put off British and Irish visitors whose cultural memory of longships isn’t as positive as ours. That’s why we included a wing for the museum of pornography which is universally popular across Europe, and something we know Elvis himself would have approved of. In fact, Priscilla graciously donated some of his jazz-mags she found under the bed after his tragic death. They’ll be on show as soon as our restorers have worked out how to un-glue the pages without damaging them.”
Work started on the 26m kroner (£3m) project last summer after years of planning and is due to be completed this Friday.
“The house is already open to visitors,” Henrick explained. “But some of the ancillary buildings aren't quite finished. Being Denmark, we’re producing our own bacon for the restaurant and, since love of Elvis transcends religion, we're hoping to produce the world’s first kosher bacon. There are lots of squirrels in the area that Elvis would have loved to snack-down on, and they don’t have cloven-hooves so no one can object, though Squirrel-bacon tends to be on the streaky side.”
Doors officially open to the public on Saturday morning, with a ticket price of 95 kroner (£11), 70 kroner concessionary tickets for OAPs, children and blond people.