UnNews:Gordon Brown Condemned Over "Telling People What To Do"

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23 February 2010

In a remarkable display of flagrant bias and a lack of intelligent news prioritising, the BBC News leads reports that British Prime Minister Gordon "The face" Brown is a bad Scottish man and rumours of a bullying style of government.

Gordon Brown, says the news, has consistently and unapologetically bossed people around. He has 'bullied' several members of the cabinet and civil service, typically slamming his papers on the desk and expressing unrestrained annoyance at regular government activities such as losing immigrant records, releasing jailed rapists and destroying the economy. "It's terrible," says George Galloway, the Minister of Cats, "You just can't get your job done when you have that monster asking you if you've done it every bloody month! Bullying, that's what it is! I have never heard of Saddam Hussein! Purr!"

The BBC News, with its emphasis on "truth" and "information" yet again misses the point of news reporting. In around the clock broadcasting the News leads with headlines such as "What to do, Brown tells people" and "Brown-nose or I'll get angry." This rather unenlightening drivel is a wonderful example of how around the clock reporting has murdered the notion of relevance.

David Cameron, the leader of the German based New New Labour party, was quoted thus, "This issue highlights Conservatory policy, which is relevant to this issue. Gordon Blair can't reform the institution, he is the pause for effect look stern and relate to audience institution."

When asked on the opinion of the Liberal Lovable Uselessly Democrats view on this breaking news, reporters found that Nick Clegg did in fact, not exist.

Gordon Brown was quoted as releasing a statement explaining that government functioned via the system of telling people what do do. However, the BBC decided to stop reporting the story at this time and show a bit of the BAFTAs.

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