UnNews:Gordon Brown "strikes a pose" in bid to become fashion model
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Gordon Brown "strikes a pose" in bid to become fashion model
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Wednesday, May 27, 2015, 13:08 (UTC)
7 May 2009
BRITISH PRIME MINISTER Gordon Brown (A.K.A Ze Faggot) has announced his intention to become a fashion model after posing sexily for the press this morning. As a raft of more bad news came in, including the revelation that he claimed £12,000 in expenses for three bouncy castles and a weather balloon last week Brown went to deflect attention away from the headlines by the announcement.
In his statement, read outside No10 this morning Brown said, "It has long been an ambition of mine to become a catwalk model, to strut the catwalks of Paris and Milan, to see posters of my body adorned across billboard posters in New York and to be the face of such cosemetic giants as L'oreal, as the former success supermodel, Angela Merkel."
Refusing to answer questions as to the state of his sanity Brown continued, "this morning I have initiated talks with John Paul Goatears with a view to realising this dream and hope he will be returning my calls in the very near future."
"Additionally I have sent out my port folio to Vogue magazine where I fully expect to be published on next months front cover."
"I would also like to assure voters that my new career as a top model will not impinge on the running of the country. I take my role as Prime Minister very seriously but hope you all understand that I must realise my dream whilst I still have my looks."
Vogue spokesman reacted predictably to Gordon's assertion that he will be on the next front cover of the magazine, "I think he should have sent this image to Mr Potato Head weekly."|
Number 10 spokesman Giles Pithwaite was quick to respond to Gordon Brown's announcement, "f*ck me he really has lost it."