UnNews:Google starts new type of seach
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
21 September 2006
SILICONE VALLEY - Google today announced that it has designed and will introduce a new type of search engine which will revolutionize the Internet search industry. Google's new "Postal Search" allows people who do not have the Internet to conduct full-scale, detailed Internet searches.
All anyone needs to do is simply write on a piece of plain white paper what they wish to search the Internet for, and mail it with the proper postage to "Google.com," and include with a self-addressed stamped envelope (SASE).
Google will then search the Internet and within 2 to 6 weeks the searcher should receive a return letter containing a list of 10 URLs and two lines of text from each page, thus allowing people to have the Internet access, even without a phone line. To help offset the cost of the search, Google will also include a variety of advertisements from interest-targeted sellers, some of which will even "pop out" of the return envelope.
This is an experiment into the concept of a Postal Internet, where people can browse the Internet via A4 and 8.5 x 11 printouts. High-bandwidth features such as streaming video, audio and VoIP (voice over Internet protocol) will be limited, as this shit won't work on a piece of flat paper received in the mail.
If Google's Postal Search is successful, many Internet service providers (ISPs) are expected to venture into this Postal Internet dubbed "Postalnet."