UnNews:Google quits censoring results in Australia
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|This article is part of UnNews||Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard|
23 March 2010
THE FORBIDDEN CITY, Australia -- Self-promoting search engine giant Google announced that it will no longer censor its search results in the People's Republic of Australia. This follows speculation that the corporation would pull out of the Communist nation after a claimed attack from Australian government hackers. Glorious People's Minister Stephen Conroy released a statement calling the idea ridiculous. "Those familiar with the IT department of our government know that we wouldn't know where to start hacking Google, much less turning on anything other than a Macbook pro". This statement was debated by Google, who claimed that the government was lying and that their announcement of pulling out of Australia had nothing to do with their search engine failing in the Communist country.
"Our decision to uncensor all search results in this nation so associated with Internet oppression is not simply part of a tantrum against the Australian government and rival search engines, nor is it a publicity stunt,"said a Google spokesman earlier (who preferred not to be named). "Although it is clear that we need the publicity, this is purely out of our own benevolence and how much we care for the Internet. We're not throwing a tantrum against the government and AltaVista Australia at all, and anyone who says so has girl germs."
Google rerouted its Australian visitors (without asking) to the uncensored Google.nz as a form of protest against the red government's censorship. "Censoring our results was a non-negotiable term of our being in Australia," a different spokesman said, referring to an earlier incident where they removed results that suggested that some women had smaller-than-average breasts at the request of the government. "But now that we're not doing too well in Australia, it's time to make a stand against this government. Freedom of information is an inalienable right to all people, even the bogans in Australia. And we will now force them to take these uncensored search results so they are free to have a link to a censored site and a sentence of a summary, before attempting to enter it and getting blocked by their government. We believe this is a first step in allowing the freedom of speech to proliferate across the world and a new golden age of internets to begin" said a different spokesman.
"We hope that the Australian Government will respect our decision to break the terms of our agreements for operating in Australia"
Child psychologists said that the only way to stop Google from continuing this behaviour is to ignore it and refuse to change its diaper until it calms down.