UnNews:Google implements gays-only employment policy
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Google implements gays-only employment policy
Where man always bites dog
Tuesday, February 9, 2016, 00:38:UTC)(
3 July 2010
A Google spokesperson said that according to a new policy it would pay homosexual - gay and lesbian - employees, more money to make up for the poor work done by heterosexuals.
And over a period of 3 months beginning July 1, 2010 the Internet giant will terminate the contracts of all straight employees and totally exclude non-gays from Google employment. Google said Heterosexuals, who don't have gay tendencies, are considered a poor risk burden with low work ethics.
But under Google's new policy, the company isn't offering any other explanation to its heterosexual employees, because it says heterosexual employees have the option of getting married, which is both costly and also leads to unwanted complications, such as child birth, divorce, and camping vacations.
Daryl Herrschaft, director of the Workplace Project at Human Rights Campaign, a gay rights advocacy group, says Google's policy is a step in the right direction toward gay world domination.
“They’re turning up the heat where the federal government hasn’t recognized the reality of diversity in the workforce today,” Herschaft told FoxNews “This is eliminating the old discrimination that gays and lesbians faced in the work place and replacing it with new discrimination against heterosexuals."
“If Google wants to be truly fair to its employees, it should continue hiring both homosexuals and heterosexuals” spokesman Gary Schneeberger told FoxNews.com. “How is discrimination against those not fortunate enough to be gay good for society?”
“There’s a potential for a reverse discrimination suit because of the equal pay for equal work statute which says that if I’m doing the same job as the person next to me that my sexual preference shouldn’t be taken into consideration. It’s my work performance that should be taken into consideration,” Wiehl told FoxNews.com.
In reply to this, a Google spokesperson said, "legally, it has nothing to do with the employer. It's up to you to be straight or gay. If a person wants to work at Google they must be gay. And Google can’t decide that for you!"
- Diane Macedo "Google Raises Eyebrows With New Gay-Only Employee Benefit". FoxNews.com, July 3, 2010