UnNews:Google Gives Money Away

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Founders Sergey Page and Larry Brin celebrate their obscene wealth by dressing up in tinfoil capes and buying a spring 'worth $1mil'

Google has decided that it has too much money, so it's going to give it all away - $1 at a time.

"We looked at our bank account, and were like, 'holy shit, where did all those zeroes come from?'" said Sergey Page, co-founder of the search giant. "Clearly we have way too much money to know what to do with, so we thought, why not give it away?"

How will Google be giving away their money? By paying the people who refer users to their Mozilla Firefox downloads, which come bundled with a copy of the Google Toolbar.

Larry Brin explained Google's rationale in more detail:

"Well, you know we love sticking it to those folks at Microsoft, so we tried to think of what would piss them off most. Naturally, we chose to support Firefox. It even works in Linux!". Google sources also explained that chinese dissidents will not enjoy the benefits of this promotion because of their previous commercial agreements with the chinese government.

As of last quarter, Google has over US$7.8 billion, enough to give one dollar to every man, woman and child on the planet. It is not known how many of them are already Firefox users.

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