UnNews:Google's new idea
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Google's new idea
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, March 28, 2017, 12:24:UTC)(
6 October 2006
Mountains, California - Now we've all heard of Google, haven't we. They are the a company who's stated goal as a company is to own all ideas on the internet. For years they've pilfered the ideas off of other companies plates, and then made money. And the more money Google makes, the more ideas it grabs. This vicious cycle has given Google ownership of 90% of ideas on the internet.
Today Google decided to announce that they would take one more step towards their goal. Google is planning on making things "easy to do". The idea of "easy" and in fact the entire word "easy" were invented by a man named Jay Bolanagram, on his website, Easy.com. Google, in a press release, stated that "having a whole bunch of buttons that do different things is too hard." Thus, starting in November 2006 Google plans to have beta software up for the project code named "Google Click". Under Google Click, all Google sites will have only one button. The user will hold down different keys on his/her keyboard whilst clicking the one button to achieve different results.
When asked to comment, the leader of Google Click, Larry Page had only this to say, "I hate buttons. They are the bane of my existence. When I was in Nam a button nearly killed me in the woods, and since then I've been afraid of them. The fewer buttons the better. Kill them. Kill them all." Mr. Page then demonstrated his hate of buttons by stabbing a man dressed up as a giant button, in front of a large crowd of people.
Business analysts project that Google Click will be Google's greatest victory, and that it will make them "a fucking lot of money."