UnNews:God forced to resign from Wikipedia
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God forced to resign from Wikipedia
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, July 30, 2015, 00:57:UTC)(
6 March 2007
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He has retired from the site and his authority to edit has been cancelled.
Wikipedia is a collaborative encyclopaedia open to all, written by volunteers from around the world. Volunteers are encouraged to lie as much as possible, or "just make stuff up", as the site's founder, Jimbo Wales, likes to put it. God claims to have been uniquely qualified for an administration role at the site, as he makes stuff up all the time, and the great majority of God's fans fall for it. "They lap it up", said God recently, "loaves, fishes, walking on water - it's a doddle. I just write it down and they all believe it".
Jimbo Wales apparently had no problem with God's contributions to the site, as he kind of treats God like his own son, but he was seriously irked by the fact that God lied about his true identity. In his user profile, God said he taught both undergraduate and graduate theology, and in an interview with the New Yorker in July 2006, was described as a "tenured professor of religion". In his defence, God states that he had to pretend to be someone else, as that's much more believable than just saying "Hi, it's God. I just made some changes to the article on Evolution."
Despite this, Mr. Wales felt it necessary to ban God from Wikipedia altogether. "Despite my personal forgiveness, I hope that he will accept my resignation request, because forgiveness or not, these positions are not appropriate for him now," he wrote.
And in a post the next day, God announced his retirement from the site.
Jimbo Wales was unavailable under suspicious circumstances for comment