UnNews:GoBots theme fails to leave Bush's head
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GoBots theme fails to leave Bush's head
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, August 29, 2016, 18:09:UTC)(
29 July 2006
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"Doctors and jingle writers will work around the clock to get the music from this 1980s cartoon out of the president's mind," White House spokesman Tony Snow told reporters. "The chief executive is in good spirits and asks for your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time."
Bush has been struggling to get the song out of his head for over three weeks. The condition erupted during a joint press conference Friday with British Prime Minister Tony Blair, as the two men unveiled a new diplomatic initiative aimed at ending the conflict between Israel and Lebanon.
Blair attempted to assist the president by humming the Danger Mouse theme song, but his efforts proved unsuccessful.
Snow said aides have locked Bush in a room and blasted him with They Might Be Giants tunes, hoping one will replace the Go-Bots theme.
"Name me one single GoBot," Reid said, to the silence of assembled reporters. "Exactly. Transformers were much cooler. Optimus Prime could kick serious GoBot ass with his blue fist of fury. Americans know this; the president, clearly, doesn't."
Snow, however, noted that the president has repeatedly sung the theme from G.I. Joe, and encouraged staff members to join him on the "Real American Hero" chorus.
The stuckitude is the worst to hit a sitting president since 1975, when Gerald Ford sang "Radar Love" throughout the Helsinki Summit.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|