UnNews:Global Tea for Peace held yesterday, completely successful

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25 December 2006

Newspaper

Former rugby internationalist Manmountain Dense, who now prefers to be called Penelope, has benefited spectacularly from tea. "It gives you a sense of inner peace and centredness," says Penelope. "And, of course, fabulous norks."

LONDON, England (UNN) — The world's most massive anti-war demonstration was held yesterday: the Global Tea for Peace, an event devised such that everyone in the world who wanted to contribute to peace around the globe could take part in the event by achieving the perfect cup of tea on the 24th of December.

The event appears to have been a complete success, with Ethiopia dropping by Somali airports yesterday for tea, scones and lashings of thick, thick cream, diamond-running gangs in Africa recruiting tea boys from the age of nine, and, in Iran, Sunni and Shia meeting in a convivial spirit and a chorus of "I Got You Babe." And Bob Geldof's new Christmas number one, "Tea The World" — letting them know it's tea time.

According to the Global Tea for Peace organizers, Earl Paul and Lady Donna Grey, a person experiences a feeling of peace both while drinking tea and afterwards. They believe that synchronized tea consumption, being a very large surge of human energy, can "effect positive change in the energy field" of our planet.

The organizers welcomed every adult person to register for participating and together with thousands of people around the globe consume tea through whatever way and in whatever place. Approximately 26,000 people had shown interest in the intiative by November 21.

U.S. Geological Survey spokeswoman Stephanie Coffee said there was no chance the energy would register seismically, although sufficient tea could induce the runs. Though not nearly as effectively as a cup of Morning Dump Blend and a Lucky Strike, which could hit up to 4 or 5 on the Recter Scale.

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