UnNews:Glenn Beck turned in by Tyria Moore
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Glenn Beck turned in by Tyria Moore
UnFair and UnBalanced
Saturday, August 29, 2015, 11:02:UTC)(
17 September 2009
Daytona Beach, Florida - In a surprise twist to the allegations that have surrounded Bill Maher of Real Time, Tyria Moore - allegedly Bill Maher long term lover - is claiming that he raped and murdered more than one girl in 1990.
Tyria Moore, best known for being the lover of Aileen Wuornos from 1986 to 1990, is rumored to have cut a deal with prosecutors in which she states that Bill Maher raped and murdered no less then seven women in 1990. An inside source at a local police precinct has allegedly related that Tyria was able to get Bill Maher to confess in a series of emotionally charged phone calls that she made to him and allowed police to tape.
Tyria Moore is no stranger to violence, sexual or otherwise. A lesbian who had left her small town out of fear of homophobia, she had met up with later convicted serial killer Aileen Wuornos and become her lesbian lover and accomplice. She turned on Aileen in order to gain prosecutorial immunity, something which she is apparently doing again now.
"Where did you think I went after I sold out Aileen?", asked Tyria. "I mean, having mooched off of her and let her suck off guys to pay for me partying for over four years, did you imagine I'd actually work for a living after that? I just moved into Bill Maher's house, I'd heard he blew guys just as well."
But apparently that is not all that Bill Maher did "just as well". Tyria started getting suspicious when Bill started coming home in a different car every week or so, usually the type of pastel colored KIA or Tercell associated with well-to-do teen girls. Tyria also wondered just how many times Glenn could accidentally spill ketchup on the passenger seats of those cars.
"His purse collection made me wonder, too", said Tyria, "I mean, I knew he was gay, it wasn't like he had ever got it up that I'd seen, but still, how many purses can even the most flaming fag have? All those driver's licenses of different teen girls was also a clue." In Maher's defense, it has been said that these teens may have tried to rape him first, driving Maher into a panic that led him to snap.
But Tyria, true to form, said nothing for all these years, as never had anyone caught up to Bill or her. While she left him years ago to hook up with another sugar daddy, it wasn't until questions surfaced about Bill a few weeks ago that she came forward. "I wasn't going to wait for it this time. Besides, I owed him one for all those comments he made about me and Aileen.", said Tyria.
This reporter has investigated the claims in this story, and has tentatively found them to be unsubstantiated and without merit. Or evidence. Or any semblence to reality. However, that it has not as yet been denied does give this reporter pause. And, if it's not true, why would such a close personal friend as Tyria has alleged to have been to Maher lie? Surely a witness as reliable as her should be believed, shouldn't she?