FANDOM


Giant joint detected near Earth's orbit

A newsstand that's brimming with issues

UnNews Logo Potato
Tuesday, October 23, 2018, 19:16:59 (UTC)

F iconNewsroomAudio (staff)Foolitzer Prize

Feed-iconIndexesRandom story

12 December 2017

IntergalacticBong

Drugs from Space.

HOUSTON, USA -- NASA have confirmed that the giant object seen close to Planet Earth is in fact a huge interstellar bong that has come from somewhere outside the Solar System. Though officially classified as interstellar 'asteroid' Wagamama', scientists say the object is in fact proof that out in space someone has a giant drug habit.

Astronomers have been tracking the cylindrical object for the past few months as it has entered the Solar System. The 'asteroid' measures 400 kilometres long but only four wide. This has been put down to someone as inexperienced at the art of 'rolling it'. What is inside the asteroid/joint is not unknown but scientists have been urging their governments to sent a mission to intercept it and take a few 'sample scrapings'.

"Going to 'Oumuamua' beats any of those planned missions to the Moon or Mars," said experienced astronaut veteran Buzz Aldrin. "I hope we Americans can reach that bong before anyone else and reap in the profits."

The asteroid's origins are a mystery. Some believe it proves the existence of God and that the celestial master manipulator likes to enjoy recreational drugs when he can. This particular joint looks like it managed to slip away.


Sources Edit