UnNews:Giant Mutant Emoticon Sets Out To Conquer Myspace
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Giant Mutant Emoticon Sets Out To Conquer Myspace
Straight talk, from straight faces
Sunday, March 26, 2017, 01:42:UTC)(
16 December 2006
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MYSPACE.COM, the Intorweb -- Recently a new profile on the MMORPG, MySpace has popped up. From the profile pictures, MySpace players can see that the übercon is an emoticon with three eyes, bucked teeth, and bunny ears (contrary to most players, who are generally humans or humans pretending to be other humans or their pet dogs).
"Though MySpace is one of the most peaceful MMORPGs, the übercon is not just there to make friends," says some woman from Chinatown. "It's evil. Pure evil. And it wants to efface religion from myspace."
On his profile, however, the übercon says he simply disagrees with gods, crediting them, along with "the mother" and her team of scientists that created him to the reason for his condition. But where did it come from?
An undisclosed source reports the übercon to originated on the planet "Roachia", and the only way to destroy it is with the combined force of the four burritos of the cardinal directions, up, down, charm, and jiggliness. Of course, no one has actually seen these burritos, nor has anyone even been able to prove they exist.