UnNews:George W. Bush is Batman
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George W. Bush is Batman
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, March 24, 2017, 00:23:UTC)(
19 July 2008
North America, Gotham City, New York, United States.
It was revealed today that George W. Bush is Batman. Journalistic investigators discovered the similarities between Dubya and the Dark Knight. One that Al Gore is the enemy of Bush and like The Joker wants to burn the world in Global Warming. Another is that Bush and Batman own mansions with secret underground liars. Batman is wealthy and Bush is wealthy. Batman's parents where killed by a criminal, and Bush's parents where threatened to be killed by a criminal dictator. Both Batman and Bush have a plan to rid the world of evildoers. Both Batman and Bush have had their plan backfire and make themselves very unpopular. Both Batman and Bush had innocent bystanders killed by their plans, and both brood over it, Batman hangs up his cowl and Bush gives up playing golf. Both Batman and Bush have built a top secret spy Big Brother network to domestically spy on civilians, which upset their loyal employees and supporters.
It is said that many of Bush's political enemies are really versions of The Joker, like John Kerry, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore because they too support global warming and want to burn the world down. They also claim that Bush is too serious and ask him "Why so serious?" and that he should just relax and not be so serious about things like they are.
Just like Batman, Bush never gives up one of his plans and does whatever it takes to win. Even if it means a lot of money is spent, innocents die, and economies are ruined. All justified in the pursuit of true justice in fighting crime at it's source. Just like Batman, Bush's enemies conspire to take him out of power. John McCain is like Nightwing, ready to take Bush's place as Batman after he retires or is removed from power. In the neverending battle for justice, Bush continues on his fight, even if he has the worst popularity ratings of any US president since Taft.