UnNews:Geneva prepares for big party with 7 billion guests
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Geneva prepares for big party with 7 billion guests
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, June 28, 2016, 06:04:UTC)(
9 September 2008
GENEVA, Switzerland - The city of Geneva prepares for the event of a lifetime. Tomorrow, the Large Hadron Collider is going to be switched on for the first (and obviously last) time. This will create a black hole - and black holes are most notable for their irresistible attraction to tourists, and all other sorts of matter, for that matter.
Only a few days ago, Geneva authorities finally realized that this will mean the number of visitors to the city will skyrocket to seven or eight billion people within a single day. The city is now in a frenzy to prepare for this number of people, organizing accommodation, food, drinks, entertainment, public viewing, public transport, and so on. "It's a challenge, but Geneva is used to hosting big international events. It will turn out fine, as always" said a city tourism official. He added that visitors are kindly asked to stand in line until it is their turn to be sucked into the black hole. Samples of hadrons will be distributed so that everyone can have a taste beforehand.
There will be a special convention of all Uncyclopedia authors at Ambassador Hotel in Geneva in the morning. Satirists are looking forward very much to this first universal world humour congress, and world humour is expected to reach a final peak since most jesters and storytellers are known to save their best gags for last.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|