UnNews:Gadhafi's daughter gives defiant speech
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.
Gadhafi's daughter gives defiant speech
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, January 19, 2017, 23:43:UTC)(
15 April 2011
TRIPOLI, Libya -- Moammar Gadhafi's daughter told a cheering crowd on Friday that Libya was not defeated by air strikes in 1986 and won't be defeated now.
She gave the speech at the ruins of the Bab Aziziyah compound, which was devastated by U.S. bombs during the Reagan administration. Bab himself could not be reached for comment and did not return phone calls. The compound has been left in its ruined state since 1986 as a museum that proves that Libya was not and cannot be defeated. By comparison, the Berlin disco that the Libyan Secret Service blew up the week before has long since been repaired.
Aisha Gadhafi said, "When I was nine years old, in this house, they tried to kill me with missiles and bombs. But we are a people that cannot be defeated." She spoke to a crowd of hundreds, who oddly did not have jobs to go to in this prosperous nation that cannot be defeated. They carried signs that said, "We cannot be defeated" and "Cover up your face, you harlot."
The message that Libya cannot be defeated might have been lost, however, as neither the NATO Supreme Command nor American political leaders were in the audience, a consequence both of President Obama's decision to have "no boots on the ground" and the military men's reluctance to attend a protest in bedroom slippers or flip-flops.
U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said in Washington, "The emergence of Gadhafi's daughter is designed to send us a clear message: that Libya might turn out like Cuba, where for decades we used brief and ineffective military attacks, and then cut off the entire country from trade, and then just waited for the ruthless dictator to die, only to find out that he has scruffy relatives who would seamlessly fill the vacuum of power.
"But, really, what are the chances we'd be wrong twice in a row?"