UnNews:GOP calls for Pelosi resignation
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
GOP calls for Pelosi resignation
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, August 19, 2017, 03:49:UTC)(
22 May 2009
Washington, D.C. -- Newt Gingrich joins the growing number of Republicans calling for the immediate resignation of Nancy Pelosi for her knowledge of the legal practices of the Bush Administration. It is alleged by a variety of Republicans that Pelosi had knowledge of such legal actions, and thus is criminal for having remained silent.
"How could Nancy Pelosi know as far back as 2003 how legal our actions were and remain silent?", said Condoleeza Rice. "Such conduct is unworthy of someone second in line to be President". Other leading Republican figures, from Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld, to Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh, agree.
"What did Pelosi know about how legally we were acting, and when did she know it?" asked popular radio personality and GOP Chairman Rush Limbaugh. "Now she claims the CIA lied to her, and did not tell her all that we were legally doing. How convenient."
Dick Cheney has long said that no one should be prosecuted for what was done under the Bush Administration, particularly himself. He has held, like President Obama, that we should all just move on. "No one needs punished for what was completely legal.", Cheney said, adding, "Except Pelosi. How could she know about all those legal things we did and remain silent?"
Pelosi, in one of five conflicting statements, has denied knowing about the fully legal actions of the Republicans, and insists that the CIA at no point made clear just how constitutionally great everyone was being. Pelosi has repeatedly said, "I can assure you, that at no point did the CIA tell me of any legal activities whatsoever. All we talked about were Republican activities."
Newt Gingrich takes offense at this, insisting that for Pelosi to deny the CIA told her about GOP legal activities does a disservice to the CIA. "The CIA is the bulwark of American liberty, for her to deny that they fully briefed her on how above board we Republicans were is disgusting. She should resign in shame for how low she has sank. I don't see how the Democrats can look anyone in the eye, knowing that their's is the party that condones silence and denial about legal activities."
Gingrich has also recently called for an investigation into what Nancy Pelosi knew about the fully legal bombing of Laos under the Nixon Administration and when she knew it. On Good Morning America, he said, "It's high time we hold people responsible for what they may have known about the perfectly legal activities of Republicans. I find it hard to believe that Pelosi knew nothing about those legal bombings of Laotian civilians. Why has she remained silent all these years? And what did she know about our legal handling of the Iran Contra Affair? These questions demand answers!"
Reached for comment, Pelosi said, "I can only assure you again that I have never seen any legal activities of the Republicans."
- HUMA KHAN and JONATHAN KARL "Republican Newt Gingrich Calls for Democratic Speaker Nancy Pelosi to Resign". ABC News, May 20, 2009