UnNews:Future of the US: Clinton's Mass Evacuations
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Future of the US: Clinton's Mass Evacuations
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, July 30, 2016, 09:15:UTC)(
14 May 2008
In the wake of Senator Hillary Clinton's recent win in the West Virginia primaries, a new report has just been issued by five separate countries on the affect that Hillary Clinton might have on the immigration in and out of the United States. These five countries (Canada, Mexico, Cuba, Haiti, and Czech Republic) are all concerned with the flow of illegal US immigrants to their respective countries. And the exodus has already started. Yesterday morning, a Coast Guard cutter intercepted a small boat in the Gulf of Mexico carrying four individuals. When interviewed, these backwards hill-billies thought that Hillary Clinton had actually won the election and were attempting to escape to Cuba. They planned to assassinate Fidel Castro, illegally smuggle cigars and spend the rest of their lifes on Cuba. And this is only the beginning.Already Mexico and Canada have began raising border security. The whole Mexican airforce has been mobilized (although it consists of biplanes with salsa bombs). Some recent facts and figures have estimated that upward of 200 million US citizens may leave the country should Hillary Clinton win the election. States such as Idaho and Montana will be completely deserted allowing the US vulnerable to attack. This would be a tragedy.
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