UnNews:Fuk-tart militia accused in plot to kill Satan
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Fuk-tart militia accused in plot to kill Satan
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, July 30, 2016, 22:42:UTC)(
30 March 2010
A federal grand jury in Detroit, Michigan, indicted six residents on charges of seditious balderdash, attempted use of a religion of mass destruction, teaching the use of sacred materials, possessing holy-water, and conspiring to kill the god of mirth, Satan.
The five-count indictment unsealed Monday charges that since 2009, the Fuk-tart defendants, acting as ‘god's angels’, conspired to kill the Anti-Christ or Satan.
Attorney General Eric Holder called it "an insidious plan by another party-pooping anti-sin cult!"
The group says on its web site that Fuk-tart means "Christian warrior”, and proclaims on its home page, "Preparing for the end time battle."
|“||If we can snuff Satan before the fight then we can save God from possibly gettin' whupped!||”|
In the Web site's "About Us" section, the group says, "We believe that one day, as prophecy says, there will be an Anti-Christ and Satan, ah, no! Satan IS the anti-Christ. And Satan ‘n’ God will go 12 rounds for the Heavyweight title. And if we can snuff Satan before the fight then we can save God from possibly gettin' whupped!"