UnNews:French Elections: Ennui wins by a landslide
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|This article is part of UnNews||Straight talk, from straight faces|
4 May 2007
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ST. DENIS, France -- (UNN) In a stunning upset, Ennui is expected to assume control of the French Government when election results are tallied in the hours following the national elections scheduled for Sunday, May 6, 2007. National polls taken two weeks ago by French television network Le Blog d'Television asked French voters who they favored, Ségolène Royal or Nicolas Sarkozy. Respondents most often replied “Eh.”
“In general, the nation does not care who runs the government, however this year appears to be the greatest victory Ennui has enjoyed since François Mitterrand was elected for the twenty-second time back in either the 1980s, or the 1990s,” stated Geraldo Rivera who is covering the elections for Fox News.
The overwhelming support for Ennui is being fueled by recent smoking bans that have been put in place throughout the nation. French citizens have been showing their displeasure by snearing at just about everything, even their beloved escargot.
“Why should I expend the energy to go and vote if I can not smoke while voting? Is foolish, no?” stated Yvette Monet, an eyewear designer from Paris. “I can stay at home and smoke all I want to; but it was not always this way. France was once a great democracy. Now it is a country that has lost its certain something that you English do not have a word for.”