UnNews:France faces fines over hamster sexploitation
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
France faces fines over hamster sexploitation
Truth doesn't "live here" — It's just camping out
Saturday, November 28, 2015, 20:51:UTC)(
11 June 2011
PARIS, France -- France is facing fines and humiliation after Europe's highest court found the government has failed to do enough to protect its hamsters from sexual abuse. In a case that stretches back over three years, the European Court of Justice said Thursday that the French government hasn't done enough to protect the remaining Hamsters of Alsace still living in a small bordello of the same name in eastern France.
"The court finds that the protective measures implemented by France were not sufficient to protect the hamsters from systematic molestation," the ECJ said in a statement.
The little 10-inch rodents are considered pests by farmers there, and were trapped, poisoned almost out of existence by the early 1990s when they got official protection after the government was lobbied by the Hamster Sexploitation Society for permission to molest hamsters at the above named bordello.
But after three years of molestation by zoophiles in France, the court says the sexy little rodents deserve better protection.
"The commission complains that in 2008 France failed to take adequate measures to ensure strict protection of the European Hamsters in Alsace (bordello), the only den of iniquity where hamster molestation exists at present," the court said.
The hamster is at risk of extinction as a result of harmful sexploitation by zoophiles in France, which disturbs their breeding according to the court.
Changing sexual practices – in particular those concerning bestiality - especially banning hamster molestation will soon lead to the growth of the French hamster communities resulting in renewed population.
There are currently only about 800 of the rodents still engaged in the animal sex industry, which is several times less than were hooking just a few years ago.
Still, the court determined that there had to be nearly twice the current number of the little creatures to sustain their population, and this could only happen by curtailing all future hamster sexploitation in France - for the time being.
- Brian Walker "France faces fines over improper care of endangered hamsters". CNN, June 11, 2011