UnNews:Fox's new show, "American Murder Idol", a big hit

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19 July 2013

WASHINGTON, District of Columbia -- Attorney General Eric Holder held a press conference today to announce that the partnership between the Obama White House and Fox television has reached a pinnacle.

"Today, I have to announce that 'American Murder Idol' is a hit. It's #1 in its time slot!", Holder told the media.

EricHolder

American Murder Idol host Eric Holder, disappointed after the third episode votes were counted.

"American Murder Idol" premiered just three weeks ago. Like "American Idol", the audience calls in and votes for their favorite. In the first episode, OJ Simpson (once accused of murder in the death of his ex-wife) beat out Aaron Burr (once accused of the murder of Alexander Hamilton), mostly because nobody in America has any idea of who Aaron Burr even is. In week 2, in what ended up being a very tight vote, Johannes Mehserle (the BART cop accused of the murder of Oscar Grant) beat out Paul Dennis Reid (who killed several fast food employees in 1997).

At the press conference, Holder explained, "The first two episodes brought slight fame to the show, but it was the third episode, which pitted George Zimmerman against Casey Anthony, that really brought this show to the forefront. 330 million Americans, and another 20 million undocumented immigrants, tuned in to watch the episode, according to the Nielsen ratings."

In the third episode, George Zimmerman walked away a free man, while Casey Anthony was put to death via electric chair, which caused more brownouts than the Lights On For Caylee Anthony campaign just two years ago.

The Justice Department is loving the new show and its format, where at the end of every episode, the loser is executed on live television using various shocking methods (including electric eels) while the winner walks free until the finals round.

"It's about time the public had some say in the justice system in this country - the entire public. Letting 6-14 well-vetted, reasonable people decide these things is for the dogs," said Holder.

President Obama praised the new system, saying, "This system works. Today, justice has been served - with a side of fries," after Paul Dennis Reid was executed.

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