UnNews:Formula 1 pitches hair dryer to manly men

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Formula 1 pitches hair dryer to manly men

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Saturday, March 24, 2018, 03:20:59 (UTC)

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18 January 2017


Its wind-tunnel-tested aero package means drying your hair is like sticking your entire head up Kimi Raikkonen's tailpipe.

MARINELLO, Italy -- A hair dryer designed by Ferrari is turbo-boosting prospective petrol-headshauteur by bringing “the essence of Formula One” to their Chantilly dressing tables.

Babyliss (the leading female brand in top-quality hair appliances) and Ferrari (the world’s most respected manufacturer of high-performance cars for wankers) have joined G-forces to create a new era in professional styling. It is the hottest thing since Maybeline’s “duel-fuel” car and bollock wax.

Fusing the manliness of the Italian sportscar with the beauty of the Italian mechanic, the super-powerful, super-butch high-performance luxury hair dryer is made in Italy and powered by a Ferrari-designed, proprietary ball-bearing engine — almost exactly like the one that is not in Sebastian Vettel’s racing car.

In the modern metrosexual era of F1 drivers, man bags, and moisturisers, cultural freedoms regarding overt male ornamentation will embrace and enhance the confident and cool within the sacred realms of the Sky Sports F1 preview show. Those who spend their time around “where to be seen” pit boxes and paddock VIP lounges finally have something wonderfully vainglorious and bromantic to talk about.

Available in Ferrari yellow, the Italia Brava is undoubtedly the Grand Prix of hair dryers and is set to go head-to-head with the all-silver, Mercedes-powered ‘’Lewis Hamilton Smoothie Maker’’ as the 2017 F1 pit-bro competition gets underway.

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