UnNews:Formula 1 Racing Announces New Teams for the 2010 Grid
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|This article is part of UnNews||Straight talk, from straight faces|
21 June 2009
PARIS, France. The sports body in charge of Formula 1 Grand Prix Motor racing have announced they have 'advanced plans' to replace any team that plans to walk out and start a rival series.
The F.I.A. (Frenchmen in Accidents) who are the international body in charge of motor racing (and supplying free champagne and escort services for the 'randiest racers') , are holding fast to their aim to force teams to cut their budgets for 2010. The F.I.A. President , the red cheeked Sir Maximum Payne Mosley says the rebel breakaway teams led by Ferrari will have their expensive 'bottoms thrashed' by fans angry to be denied their .0001 seconds of enjoyment as the cars go whizzing past them on the race track.
...they haven't got a trouser leg to stand in..er. on.. said a breathless Mosley as he was interviewed outside a private address in London with a big flashing red light on the door... If I can take pain every week in the name of fun...then surely the teams in Formula 1 have to recognise that they are pricing themselves out of the market by spending all their money in wind tunnels and redesigning go faster stripes on their cars.. ( at this point Mosley was interrupted by a shout from inside the house ...'Oi!!..you've left me £10 short. You want me to put it on your tab for next week ?').
Sir Max continued to talk as he walked away from the house..
...it is all about people getting greedy as usual...but we the F.I.A. already have a number of teams ready to take over the place of Ferrari and the others who want to flounce off....I will let you know who you they are but I have to leave you as I realise I left something behind...
Checking with the F.I.A. , the UnNews Follow Up Swat team came up with this information on the identity of the other teams :-
- Dick Dastardly F1.
- Noddy-Big Ears Automotive Racing
- Postman Pat with the B&W Cat Engine
- Transgender Transformers F1 (TTF1)
- Scalextric F1
- Chitty Chitty Bang Bang F1
- Tonka-Toys R Us F1
- Clockwork Orange Sponsored Red Stripe Bum Racing
- Lego Grand Prix
- Existentialist Dada is Moma Team Francais
- Colombian Cocaine Cartel 'We Need To Launder the Money Somewhere' F1.
- Herbie Goes To F1
And many others that looked even less plausible. Follow up calls to these supposed teams gave us a range of interesting answers from 'What ?' or a dog sniggering to someone cursing 'All i can say to F1 is F.U.'
In a statement latter issued by the F.I.A. they said that they 'were keeping an open sewer' on the issue of Sir Max Mosley's private life but as for Formula One that there was no doubt the 2010 grid will be competitive one.
Just as long as someone remembers to put some money in the meter before we start then we can promise motor racing fans next year will be full of surprises... !
- Associated Press
- The Person Who Left a Message on the UnNews website.