UnNews:Former Cambodian Dictator Paul Pot wins Britain’s Got Talent
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Former Cambodian Dictator Paul Pot wins Britain’s Got Talent
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, May 23, 2015, 12:03 (UTC)
22 June 2007
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CARDIFF, Wales, UNN -- In a stunning return to the world stage, an operatic Paul Pot – the one time leader of Cambodia’s brutal Khmer Rouge - has won the grand prize first series of Simon Cowell’s Britain’s Got Talent television programme.
Pot, who was believed dead, had been in hiding and training with Luciano Pavarotti in a small grass hut, down by the Mekong Delta and wowed the crowd with his stirring version of Giacomo Puccini’s aria, Dieci Centesimi un Ballo from the Ha Penny Opera.
No one was as surprised with Pot’s return to the world stage the show’s creator and lead panelist, Simon Cowell. “When we heard Simon gasp and clutch his pearls, I for one thought that he had swallowed his upper plate,” co-panelist and co-prig Piers Morgan commented.
Voting for Pot was heavy, especially after leaving the nation of Cambodia in tears with his stirring rendition of the Barber of Phnom Penh. The event was so big that Wales didn't know what to do with itself, or the six million people that inundated the city of Cardiff the night of the series finale.
The former Cambodian Dictator had been working as a cell phone salesperson in a kiosk by the Cardiff Wales Millennium Center (which is a much, much smaller version of the Millennium Dome) before his triumph on the talent show. “My love of life itself is only exceeded by love of beautiful music and krumping,” claimed Pot. “It soothes my salvaged breasts.”
As part of his prize package, Pot received a recording contract with Cowell, a audience with Queen Elizabeth and three cases of Heinz Treacle. Pot was also invited to perform during the Today Show in New York City before he was whisked away to face cabaret audience at the United Nations.
- J.K. Rowling "J.K. Rowling's Paul Potter's My Space is Your Space Page". www.paulpotts.com, June 15, 2007