UnNews:Florida sex scandal engulfs Randy Andy

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Florida sex scandal engulfs Randy Andy

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7 January 2015


HRH, Prince Andy Pandy.

LONDON, United Kingdom -- Buckingham Palace was in meltdown as they dealt with a scandal linking Prince Andy Pandy, Loopy Lube and convicted toy molester Jeff 'Teddy' Epstein. After a quick change of the Guard and brown stained underpants, the British Royal Family issues a press statement - in the style of a nursery rhyme.

HRH, Prince Andy Pandy
Won't Come Out to Play
Until those nasty photographers
Are Sent Away.

This hasn't stopped the British press of running stories like 'Randy Andy caught with his striped pants down - again' and 'Is Andy the Duke of Porkies?' Queen Elizabeth II has already said Andy has been sent to his box without his tea until 'the fuss dies down.'

The story broke in the USA that Loopy Lube had been procured by Teddy to supply extra services to important clients. These are said to have involved a lot of oil and sensual massages administered by Loopy in the privacy of a full-blown orgy in Florida. To prevent further incriminating acts, all three toys have been separated and placed in metal cases until someone can make sense of the story.

Standing by her Andy is his former wife, 'Sarah' Fergie 'toe sucker' and their two little pigs — otherwise known as Princess Eugenie and Princess Beatrice. Fergie says Andy is innocent and intends to support him till they day he has his royal willy removed to prevent further Royal flushes in high places.

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