UnNews:Fisting controller for Wii out for Christmas
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.|
23 December 2009
LOS ANGELES, California -- Nintendo has upped the ante in the virtual sex game, introducing the Wii FISTING CONTROLLER in time for late Christmas shopping this year. This amazing piece of hardware will retail for a base retail price of $249.99, and is compatible with Nintendo Wii, and PCs or Macs with a USB connection.
Two add-ons are currently available, with two more to be released in time for Spring Break. A ScentModule© ($109.99) generates a range of anal and vaginal odors, running from mild and pleasant to utterly disgusting. The RealFeel© module is actually a bottle of goo which, when poured into the end of the glove, leaks simulated bodily fluids down the users hand and arm, also realistically scented in a range of strengths.
The glove can be set to simulate fisting either a vagina or an anus. The glove structure is filled with pneumatic pressure-applicators and sensors, providing RealFeel© feedback for a genuine feeling of the fisting experience.
The controller also comes with two games; "Rammin' Randy©" and "Fistin' Fanny©". They provide realistic High Definition visual simulations of the act using actual pornographic actors. Nintendo is courting several "queens and kings of porn", hoping to market to a segment which is already saturated with blue films.
- Alex Bettencourt "Nintendo fisting controller; a different kind of glove". LA Times, December 16, 2009