UnNews:First close up of Pluto released by NASA

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First close up of Pluto released by NASA

Truth doesn't "live here" — It's just camping out

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14 February 2015

Pluto1bb

Pluto finally comes into focus

HOUSTON, Texas -- The first close-up images of Pluto taken from the New Horizons space probe has led to a lot of head-scratching at NASA. They appear to show the close-up of a cartoon dog.

In a mission that has lasted 11 years, the discovery that Pluto looks just like Mickey Mouse's pet hound has been put down to either quantum physics, a smudge on the camera, or a bit of over-eager sponsorship by Disney. Since Pluto has been so faint from earlier images, this photo has revived the idea that the entire universe sits on the back of a turtle as it swims through the vacuum of space.

"This is a real Bobby Dazzler," admitted Mark Holdridge, a science ethicist attached to the mission. "We had never been able to decipher the old photos we had from the Hubble Space Telescope. These new ones from New Horizons will send us all back to school to see where we screwed up."

Pluto1b

Pluto as seen through the Hubble Telescope.

In 2006, the International Astronomical Union downgraded Pluto from a planet to a "minor orbiting thingie." The demotion, which Mr. Holdridge called a "Mickey-Mouse decision," came on the heels of an unfortunate episode in the corner of the kitchen, probably due to porcupines or skunks in the neighborhood. The Hubble had revealed the droopy ears of the faint heavenly body, but astronomers had always mistaken it for the "dog star." No, Sirius.

New Horizons is expected to fly close to Pluto in July 2015, just as long as it is not slobbered on by the planet's big red tongue.

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