UnNews:Film "Back To The Future" responsible for time paradox?

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20 December 2006

Doc Brown

↑ This is the one to blame.

TIME, SPACE - Ace reporter, Chuck Chucka Chucka Choo-Choo, here, bringing you this live report! Via videophone, deceased genius Albert Einstein will explain today's issue.

Albert
Yes, Yes. Und thank you. You see Back To The Future was released in the 80's, the time period where Chuck Norris punched the interdimensionalchronosthingamajig, leaving it very weak, now, Back To The Future is the single most confusing movie title known to man because before you go BACK to the future, you must go FORWARD to the future. While they did go back to the future in the movie (being it their point origin), they also went forward to the future because they went back to the 60's.Because of Steven Speilberg's psychobabble non-sense a time paradox was created.
Chuck
Right..so,..um...what happened?
Albert
Marty McFly went back AND forward,to the future no less, simultaneously.This makes no sense what so ever, efficiently making a paradox and further crumbling down the walls of reality, causing many horrible things to happen.
Chuck
Oh! I TOTALLY get it, so name off a couple of these horrible things.
Albert
It created Name Shortening Syndrome, turned Michael Jackson white,created Rocky 5,cancer--
Chuck
But, we had cancer BEFORE Back To The Future.
Black

Artist's impression of a paradox having been eaten by a grue.

Albert
But,only because the paradox put it there, originally, there was no cancer until 1992. It also created the movie critic catchphrase: "Two thumbs up!"
Chuck
God Almighty! It did? That's awful!
Albert
The paradox also altered Barman And Robin by replacing Val Kilmer with George Clooney,destroyed the original copies of the Bible and Necromnoicon,and created.........BERNIE MAC!
Chuck
Wow! Spooky stuff! And you heard it first from UnNews,the News that happens to be Un!

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